It is commonly thought that attraction is created through particular physical attributes that appeal visually by way of physical form, figure, hairstyle or other such features. While physical features may play a part in the process of sexual attraction they are not the real magnetic forces that produce attraction and desire of sustainable magnitude sufficient to endure the processes of time.

What really constitutes sexual attraction and desire is the energy that emanates from a person. I am sure that most men and women will have learnt by experience of everyday life that even the most physically perfect person may have selfish and ugly energy that is profoundly unattractive.

Likewise, you may meet someone who is physically flawed in some way yet their energy, or life force, shines through them like a magnet and it is that which makes them attractive and truly beautiful.

If you want to discover whether or not you are energetically attracted to someone, look beyond the physical body and try to connect with the life- force, or life energy, that radiates from the person.

You will easily be able to do this by looking specifically and more deeply at their face and listening to their voice. Connect particularly with their eyes, skin texture, lips, teeth, neck and cheeks. Study the texture of their hair. Listen intently to their voice; not just what they say but also the tone with which they speak.

A person’s eyes are windows to their soul. If you really want to discover whether your attraction to another person is real and potentially lasting, connect with them through deep eye contact. Do you feel drawn to them through their eyes? Does the life behind their eyes inspire and delight you or do you sense a barrier, or emotional coldness there?

Look at the texture of their skin. Does it appear to you like velvet? Does their skin beckon you to caress it? Does it take all your willpower to refrain from touching them? Or is their skin hidden behind layers of make-up, deodorant and self-protection? Are they defending themselves from being natural and revealing who they really are behind their physical presentation?

Do you feel drawn to their lips? They are the entrance to a vital psychic and energy centre that enables a person to express themselves. Their desires, wishes, longings, vocabulary and other feelings originate from their inmost being but are expressed verbally.

Are you attracted to their voice, lips and mouth?

Do their lips invite a feeling within that makes you want to put your own close to theirs? Does a desire arise to kiss their lips? Are their teeth as ‘pearls’ in your sight? Are you drawn to the energy emanating from their mouth as they talk and as they laugh? Does their smile make you smile involuntarily? When they laugh does a ripple of joy resonate from within you?

Survey their neck, ears and cheeks. Do you want to kiss or caress them? Are they inviting to you? Do they arouse desire within you? Look deeply at the texture of their hair. Do you long to run your hands over their hair? Do you sense that they would welcome that or do you sense that they might protect their hairstyle from being disrupted by your caress?

These aspects of form are far more indicative of true attraction and desire than simply what they are wearing or whether they happen to fit an external image that you have become attached to in your brain through pictures from your past.

Find out what their name is. There is more to the name of a person than you might think. If you are to enter a relationship with this person, you must even feel attracted to their name. People who form a life-long relationship will repeat the name of their partner thousands of times over the years that they are together. Even in the early days of a sexual relationship, you will want to utter the name of your beloved while making love. Does their name resonate with you at a level of attraction and desire within your innermost self?

If and when you become physically intimate with someone, spend time discovering whether the attraction between you is likely to be real and lasting or whether you are both simply reacting to the excitation of your autonomic nervous system. If your attraction is the former, you will experience feelings of awe and wonder at the form of their thighs, the contours of their belly and the aroma of their skin. When true sexual attraction and desire is present, you will experience them as being perfect, flawless. There is nowhere else in the world that you would want to be other than with him or her.

Attraction and desire will grow, develop and modify over time but anything less than described, cannot be counted as real attraction and the risk of a more superficial attraction fading over time, particularly that which is based on physical excitation alone, is very high. True sexual attraction will remain and deepen even over the course of an entire lifetime.