“I’m thirty five and I still haven’t lost my virginity. Don’t tell me that I haven’t met the right woman or that it’ll happen for me one day, because I’ve given up hope. The problem is that I’m really shy, not much use with women and I never pull. At least I’ve accepted the fact. The thing is I really want to get laid … I’m so depressed about it. It feels like I’m on the wrong side of a huge mountain and all the women in the world are on the other side.” You will never meet an “adult
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You probably don’t need me to remind you how many intimate relationships break up, either in the first few years or even after twenty or thirty years of apparent “marital bliss”. Most people are aware, that what begins as a romantic dream all too often ends as a nightmare. There isn’t enough time or space here to list all the reasons for intimate relationship breakdowns, and in any case, it would make you depressed to read them . . . and for me to write about them, I think I might give up the will to live! Okay—if you insist—here
Sometimes referred to as clairsentience, the psyche can experience tangible feelings, often ignored or misused, but vital within relationships if the depth of feeling between partners is to include a connection at the level of the mind. When a couple have made this “mind connection” they never again need ask each other the dreaded question “how was that for you?” Each will know the state of mind of the other during intimate lovemaking. It is sometimes believed in therapeutic and spiritual schools of thought that the mind gets in the way of feelings; this is only partially true. Distracting and
There are still further levels of feeling that we may call “soul feelings”. A human being can feel many things that are beyond the normal range of the senses. For example, there are feelings that can be evoked by words, relational situations, art, poetry and music. To access soul feelings, one must be open to life at a level of awareness that is not instinctive or part of everyday consciousness. Some people may be happier using the term “sub-conscious” feelings, but I would suggest that “soul” feeling is more accurate. The feelings experienced when one goes beyond the ordinary state
Sensation Probably the most easily described is that range of feelings which should really be referred to as “sensations”. When you stub your toe against a table leg, the pain you feel is a “sensation”. When you feel a feather, that experience you are having is a “sensation”. When you caress your lover you are enjoying the “sensation”; just as you are enjoying the “sensation” when you are being touched by a lover, or indeed by a friend, parent or stranger. The handshake from a stranger is a sensation just as is the peck on the cheek from a family
Premature ejaculation is when a man consistently ejaculates involuntarily. Ejaculation should be the result of a conscious decision. There is no ‘normal’ time sexual intercourse should take but the normal expectation should be that on most occasions, a man ejaculates when he chooses to do so. This should, of course, be at a time when his partner is ready for him to ejaculate. In order to teach men ejaculatory control, traditional sexual therapy routinely emphasises the practice of external techniques such as the "Squeeze Technique", made famous by Masters and Johnson in the 1960's. While this and other rather outdated
Electricity and magnetism are amazing universal forces that sustain not only this planet but the entire solar system. This combination of electromagnetic forces is evident all around us and available to us every moment of our life. One only has to think of the everyday tasks that we perform in the home, office or factory to realise how much we depend upon electricity and magnetism. Yet neither of these great forces originates in the instrument that organises them. In other words, electricity does not originate in the electrical plug, the light switch or the television set and magnetism does not
The soul is “twin-sexed”. Souls are androgynous, both feminine and masculine. This twin-sexed nature is a perfectly balanced blend of masculine and feminine energy. The embryonic baby in the uterus is both male and female, sharing sexual organs that will become either male or female at a particular stage in the womb. Its gender destiny is determined at a level of organisation, intelligence and existence higher than that understood by even the most advanced medical science; by the effect of chromosomes on the physical body. Chromosomes are thread-like structures emanating from the chromosphere – a reddish, gaseous realm that lies
ICASA Mentors are motivated by their desire to share their knowledge; compassionate, and possess the attributes of a good 'guide'. Our mentors are committed to guiding and empowering clients to develop their own strengths, beliefs, and personal attributes through the ICASA Sexual Recovery Programme. At The Centre for ICASA the Mentor is responsible to the Principal of ICASA. The role of an ICASA Mentor is to: Guide the client through the steps of the ICASA Sexual Recovery Programme in such a way that the client feels safe and understands the principles, purpose and boundaries of each step of the
Have you ever considered your genitals to be beautiful? Then again, can you look at your partner’s genitals and see beauty in much the same way as you might see beauty when you look in their eyes? Were you taught that genitals were ‘dirty’? Were you told not to touch your genitals because it is ‘disgusting’? By opening yourself to the beauty of genitals, you can integrate your whole body, mind and soul rather than segregating yourself into separate and divided entities called ‘sexual parts’ and ‘non-sexual parts’. We all have body feelings originating from memories ‘stored’ in the genitals.