The ICASA Sexual Recovery Programme offers men, women and couples powerful, practical and effective tools within a gently evolving programme that helps to transform unhelpful early conditioning and develop a new relationship with oneself and others. It is a structured professional, therapeutic programme involving a partnership of considerable commitment, honesty and courage between client, therapist and (where appropriate) Surrogate Partner. The programme provides the opportunity to establish and maintain truly fulfilling intimate and sexual relationships and a peaceful, loving relationship with oneself. While fear of intimacy may result from background factors and early life conditioning, the solution and a permanent
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So far David Brown has created 76 blog entries.
Why are intimate relationships so fragile in our modern culture? 42% of all marriages in the Western world end in divorce; a statistic that does not, of course, include the staggeringly high failure rate of other types of intimate relationships. Most men and women today are more experienced and practiced at breaking up relationships than they are at building and maintaining them! Why is this so? To discover the solution—The Way of Indestructible Relationships—we must look at the foundations upon which intimate relationships are built. Intimate relationships today are expected to succeed while still being built on the foundations of
“Pornographic addiction”—or obsessive, excessive use of pornography—is defined as the repeated use of pornographic material until it causes serious negative consequences to one's physical, mental, social, or financial well-being. A large percentage of people, who are attached to porn, experience difficulties in personal relationships; they tend to isolate themselves from friends and even their family. Excessive use of porn may also lead to sexual dysfunctions such as erection problems, premature or inhibited ejaculation. There is now widely read research published online that claims another aspect of pornographic addiction: changes that occur in the brain when one spends a considerable time
ICASA offers experiential and educational courses of training in becoming a certified professional ICASA Sexual Surrogate Partner, Mentor or Therapist. It is also an ideal complementary training for counsellors and therapists who wish to better understand Surrogate Partner Therapy. The Centre for ICASA opened in the UK in 1994. The founders, David and Jane Brown, had returned to England after a number of years in a U.S. medical facility specialising in the treatment of male impotency and other related sexual dysfunctions. David and Jane trained and managed a team of counsellors and studied and used the methods of Masters and
It is a very common thing to hear people say: “Of course, sex isn’t everything…” They are wrong. Sex is at the heart of everything. Of course, there is a grain of truth in what they say. Sex isn’t every thing—it is the Source of Everything. Every thing owes its existence to sex. What we call “sex” is at the centre of all manifestation, throughout the Universe; even the “Big-Bang” was a cosmic orgasm—combustion of masculine and feminine energy.Sex is the fundamental force in every being, the most powerful force in Nature: the evidence of The Source of All. Sex
Have you ever experienced an awareness of your body being in one place while your mind is in another? At such times you will find yourself acting like a sort of spectator at your own event. This is particularly common amongst men who have performance anxiety. You may be in bed with your partner but your mind is somewhere else completely; somewhere ‘out there’ looking down on yourself. Such men are spectators at the humiliation of themselves. They witness an agonising spectacle organised by their ‘disobedient penis’; an apparent punishment for simply being born. Riddled with guilt and engulfed with
To understand the second principle, we must even dispense with the concept of a self-existing Universe. Our galaxy, of which our solar system occupies the spatial equivalent of a cupboard under the stairs in a vast country mansion, is now known by astronomers to be like an infinitesimal sphere within hundreds of billions of galaxies, clusters and super-clusters of galaxies within an infinite Universe. As we explore ever deeper, beyond our immediate neighbourhood in space, dimensions change and our perceptions change along with them. Time dissolves into infinity. We lose the linear relativity consciousness that goes along with our three dimensional vision. Everything we cherish as real dissipates
Reality and Fantasy It is amazing how many people, in this case both men and women in equal numbers, hold an image in their mind of lovemaking being an experience that should always happen spontaneously. Just like the Hollywood movies, the lovers gaze at each other, music starts to play; fires within are ignited, clothes are ripped off and lovemaking occurs automatically. Nobody speaks a word; only music and beautiful camera angles. Afterwards, the two are inevitably in love and will live together happily ever after. “Real life” is rarely like that. At the beginning of surrogate partner therapy, the
The first step to trust is learning to communicate genuinely and sincerely with yourself. You probably tend to think that there is little you can do about your “negative” thoughts and feelings because you assume that, for the most part, feelings just come and go as they please and that you have little power to influence them. You will tend to hide those feelings you dislike or want to deny, hoping they will go away, and show only those that are considered acceptable. For intimacy to be enjoyed without anxiety it is important to acknowledge your fears, desires and fantasies,
A surrogate partner is neither prostitute nor princess; She is neither maiden nor crone; She is not defined by age, appearance or by conventional social morality. She is a Woman of The Light; a sexual healer. A surrogate partner gives herself to others for their healing and happiness; She proves them to be whole. Like a child who has learned to walk, he overcomes his fears, and then disappears; She is forgotten, though forever remembered. A surrogate partner loves others as an aspect of the Beloved; She is defined by whom she is within. She cries, laughs, loves and