Why are intimate relationships so fragile in our modern culture? 42% of all marriages in the Western world end in divorce; a statistic that does not, of course, include the staggeringly high failure rate of other types of intimate relationships. Most men and women today are more experienced and practiced at breaking up relationships than they are at building and maintaining them! Why is this so? To discover the solution—The Way of Indestructible Relationships—we must look at the foundations upon which intimate relationships are built. Intimate relationships today are expected to succeed while still being built on the foundations of

The first step to trust is learning to communicate genuinely and sincerely with yourself. You probably tend to think that there is little you can do about your “negative” thoughts and feelings because you assume that, for the most part, feelings just come and go as they please and that you have little power to influence them. You will tend to hide those feelings you dislike or want to deny, hoping they will go away, and show only those that are considered acceptable. For intimacy to be enjoyed without anxiety it is important to acknowledge your fears, desires and fantasies,

Intimate relationships can either be stressful and performance- centred, creating anxiety and disillusionment, or they can be relaxing, blissful, and ecstatic. A good experience can aid a healthy body and mind and heal the emotions. A bad experience can be stored in the body for a life-time. The dividing line between these two may appear to be a thin tight rope; on one side of the line there exists a positive sexual relationship and on the other side there exists an abyss of negativity, sorrow, heartbreak and misery. The dividing line may appear to be thin but is an enormous

Key No. 5 Five Stages of Ejaculation Most couples believe that—after a certain amount of physical stimulation of the penis—a man will inevitably ejaculate. This is typically called the “climax”, which means that his arousal drops dramatically and sex may be over, before it has even really begun. There are, however, five psychosexual stages to the ejaculation cycle. The first stage in the ejaculation cycle is ‘excitement’ or ‘excitation.’ During this initial phase of the cycle the nervous system is intensified and ultra sensitive in the fingertips, tongue, lips, nipples and penis. Men should not attempt penetrative sex when still

Key No.3 The Difference Between Arousal & Ejaculation Cycles During sexual stimulation and arousal there are two sexual processes going on within you. One is your arousal cycle and the other is your ejaculation cycle. These two cycles are linked through sexual stimulation but they are not the same; they are two distinct processes. The arousal cycle is the combination of subtle teamwork between your hormones and your mind. The ejaculation cycle is a combination between your nervous system and your mind. The triggers that affect arousal appear to happen on the ‘outside’. The feelings leading up to ejaculation, however,

Key No. 1      Your Sexual Relationship is a Gift Sexuality is not something you ‘do’. It expresses an important facet of who you are. Sex is a gift, a vital creative energy. You don’t need to work harder at sex. Open yourself to the ever-present potential of your natural sexuality. You were born with the capability to share mutually pleasurable sexual energy within the context of a consensual relationship. Negative thoughts, emotions, feelings and circumstances impair the natural flow of a good sexuality. Loosen up and allow it to happen. Let go of striving, trying and worrying. Discover

By following these blogs, any couple can discover that overcoming performance anxiety or  intimacy problems is easier than you think. It is largely due to the experiences and circumstances of your conditioning that you have become anxious about sexual relationships. You were born with everything you need to enjoy your sexual relationship. You will discover your natural, inbuilt confidence as you read these blogs, and practice the intimacy exercises that I will describe in them. It is like learning to ride a bike or to swim; activities that most of us take for granted but that when you first embark on them

There are natural laws in this world that apply to everyone without exception. The law of gravity is one example. It doesn’t matter who drops an object from the edge of a table, or throws it into the air, the object will fall to the ground: gravity will ensure that it lands somewhere solid. You may be rich or poor, man or woman, old or young—it doesn’t matter who you are or where you live—gravity will work the same in your life as for any other person. In the same way, there are also universal laws that work irrespective of

The reason that intimacy has become associated with anxiety or fear is because the word intimacy has become associated with sex as a physical act.  People think that being intimate is something you do.  They say that “he was being intimate with her” when they really mean that a couple were having sexual intercourse or “foreplay”. Intimacy isn’t something you do; it’s not an activity.  Intimacy is a state of being; not doing.  Intimacy is a level of consciousness that requires self-awareness as distinct from thinking or doing.  Intimacy is awareness.  Intimacy is being conscious of feelings that are happening

  Many couples are anxious about intimacy and sexual relationships.  They worry about whether they are pleasing their partners.  They wonder if they are doing it ‘right’…  A lot of women are insecure about their ability to make love in such a way that is fulfilling for them and their partner.  They are worried about how they look, how they react, and whether they may be rejected etc. etc. Much of this insecurity stems from the false expectations that surround sex in today’s society.  The sexual model in our society is based on achievement and performance rather than on intimacy.