It may surprise you to know that millions of men ejaculate between thirty seconds and two minutes after beginning sexual intercourse! Many even experience ejaculation before penetration has been achieved! No wonder, then, that millions of women complain about their sex-life being disappointing and unsatisfying.
Did you know that premature ejaculation is the most common of all male sexual problems? What is not so clear, or agreed, is the definition of the condition: “What is premature?”
Is premature ejaculation defined by the time between penetration and ejaculation? Or should other criteria be used to define the condition? Some therapists use the number of thrusts that occur before orgasm. In one textbook, “premature” is defined as the occurrence of orgasm thirty seconds after penetration, while others extend that criterion to one and a half minutes; another to two minutes, while a third defines “premature” if he ejaculates prior to ten thrusts!
Masters and Johnson, the famous American sex researchers, diagnosed a man as a premature ejaculator if he reaches orgasm before his partner does, more than fifty percent of the time. Other leading sexologists later suggested that premature ejaculation could additionally or alternatively be defined if the man didn’t have voluntary control over when he ejaculated. The American psychiatric Association define premature ejaculation as: “. . . persistent or recurrent ejaculation with minimal stimulation before, on, or shortly after penetration and before the person wishes it . . . “
A more modern perspective suggests: “ . . . that an orgasm is premature when a man cannot contain his excitement long enough to build a charge sufficient for him to achieve a satisfying orgasm.”
The Centre of ICASA, a leading UK sex therapy clinic, has been helping single men and couples to eradicate this problem since 1994. In this time they have identified all of the above categories. ICASA defines premature ejaculation as involuntary ejaculationand recognises two primary types of premature ejaculation:
The men in the first group have been profoundly affected in the past, suffer with premature ejaculation—and potentially with some related erectile dysfunction—and fear that the problems will re-occur.
The men in the second group have anxieties, usually involving conflicts around intimacy, and have difficulty in understanding their feelings about sex.
Men in both these groups have either suffered with premature ejaculation in past relationships—or lack the necessary confidence, intimacy skills or ejaculatory control to further attempt to make new relationships.
Traditionally, premature ejaculation has been very difficult to solve. In fact the medical profession classifies premature ejaculation as untreatable, and resorts to prescribing either anti-depressants (to numb the sensations in the nervous system) or Viagra (to help keep an erection). Neither of these medicated strategies is appropriate, nor effective in helping the man to master his ejaculation cycle.
The only truly appropriate and effective way to permanently overcome the effects of premature ejaculation is through positive direct experience with a supportive intimate partner.
This is possible if a couple is committed to a recovery process together. But what about the single man who is caught in a “catch-22” situation? He is told by doctors and therapists that “you’ll be able to solve the problem when you are in an intimate relationship” but—in reality—many men with premature ejaculation have long since retreated from relationships through fear and shame. How can these single men solve the problem so that they can, once again, hope for a future relationship?
There is a solution: there is a cure for premature ejaculation that doesn’t involve medications and can break the vicious negative cycle caused by devastating loss of confidence. This form of treatment has been successful for hundreds of single men in the UK over the past twenty years.
