Intimate relationships can either be stressful and performance- centred, creating anxiety and disillusionment, or they can be relaxing, blissful, and ecstatic. A good experience can aid a healthy body and mind and heal the emotions. A bad experience can be stored in the body for a life-time.
The dividing line between these two may appear to be a thin tight rope; on one side of the line there exists a positive sexual relationship and on the other side there exists an abyss of negativity, sorrow, heartbreak and misery. The dividing line may appear to be thin but is an enormous chasm between two different experiences. This section introduces you to one of the most important to a key that will help you to stay on the right side of that thin dividing line.
Just as there are natural laws governing nature, there are also metaphysical laws; the laws of destiny. Most people know the natural laws. For example, you wouldn’t dream of walking off the edge of a high cliff because the law of gravity dictates that you would soon come down to earth with a crash! Another natural law is that night follows day. Knowing this, most people use night for sleeping and daytime for working. When these natural laws are contravened various levels of disruption occur and no one is exempt. You cannot change nature. Science may tinker with nature but natural laws remain.
The same principle applies in the realm of metaphysical laws. There are many such laws and when they are adhered to in areas of work, business, finance, relationships and sex positive results will follow. Conversely, if they are contravened anxiety follows with negative consequences.
Relationships begin to suffer when metaphysical laws are ignored or contravened. Sexual dysfunctions are usually a result of ignorance of metaphysical laws. There are several vitally important laws that affect sexual relationships. When put into practice they will always produce positive results. When ignored, disruption and negative effects will follow.
One of these metaphysical laws states: “intimate connection deepens in direct proportion to the shared level of trust.”
Performance Anxiety becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy when you consistently believe that you are failing your partner—that only by “improving your performance” will you make the difference. The harder you try, the worse the problem becomes. “I will never get it right; never be able to please a partner. Something must be wrong with me”.
The endless cycle of self consciousness and worry is because you are at the centre of the cycle and the more you focus on yourself the greater your problems appear. This kind of self-consciousness creates self-criticism, self-condemnation and self-loathing.
Eventually you begin to realize, after wasted years of frustration and despair, that sexual happiness is achieved—not by doing better— but by opening yourself to trust: to let go.