Premature ejaculation is when a man consistently ejaculates involuntarily. Ejaculation should be the result of a conscious decision. There is no ‘normal’ time sexual intercourse should take but the normal expectation should be that on most occasions, a man ejaculates when he chooses to do so. This should, of course, be at a time when his partner is ready for him to ejaculate.
In order to teach men ejaculatory control, traditional sexual therapy routinely emphasises the practice of external techniques such as the “Squeeze Technique”, made famous by Masters and Johnson in the 1960’s. While this and other rather outdated methods are perfectly valid, we emphasise that real control is the balance of the mind, emotions and energy. The essential resources a man needs to monitor, maintain and control his sexual functions are within him and can be balanced by a combination of the mind, breath and attention.
Phases of the Ejaculation Cycle
Phase 1: EXCITEMENT – When a man begins to be sexually stimulated, he will experience sensations within the ejaculation cycle that is known as the EXCITEMENT phase. This is sometimes referred to as ‘excitation’. A mistake that many couples make is to try to have intercourse while still in the EXCITEMENT phase. It is an error for a man to avoid direct sexual stimulation during foreplay. Maintaining the conscious breathing technique will help him to become more composed and thereby enter the second phase.
Phase 2: PLATEAU (Control period) – As intimacy progresses, he may become familiarised with the sensations that intimate touch produces and to enter a second phase known as the PLATEAU. In this phase, control of the sensations becomes immeasurably easier. It is in this phase that penetrative sex is possible owing to the far greater composure of his state of mind. Unless he understands that there is a PLATEAU stage, his mind will remain anxious because he will believe that there is no relief from the initial excitement other than to ejaculate. The PLATEAU brings a sense of expansion from the tension of the initial ‘excitement’, and it is during the PLATEAU phase that he will be able to experience far more intense sexual stimulation.
Phase 3: ORGASM – This commonly occurs to most men simultaneously with ejaculation but is, in fact, a distinct psycho-physiological experience.
Phase 4: EJACULATION (This occurs in most men simultaneous to orgasm) – Once the point of ejaculation inevitability is reached, unstoppable reflex rhythmic contractions in the prostate begin the propulsion of semen from its temporary storage depot to the exterior.
Phase 5: RESOLUTION – After ejaculation, resolution results in arousal waning temporarily, while the penis returns to a flaccid state. There now follows a ‘refractory period’ where an erection is usually not present. The EXCITEMENT PHASE will return after a sufficient refractory period, which varies in duration depending largely upon the age of the individual.