How many of us have experienced jealousy? Literally all of us, of course, including me. In fact, when I was a young man I was extremely jealous and it ruined early relationships. Some years ago I went to see somebody who I respected a lot, and said, “Can you tell me how to master jealousy?” He looked at me as though I was crazy. “Master jealousy?” He replied. “You can’t master jealousy any more than you can master time, or sickness or death. What you can do”, he continued, “is to develop your personal magnetism. In that way, you will
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It may surprise you to know that millions of men ejaculate between thirty seconds and two minutes after beginning sexual intercourse! Many even experience ejaculation before penetration has been achieved! No wonder, then, that millions of women complain about their sex-life being disappointing and unsatisfying. Did you know that premature ejaculation is the most common of all male sexual problems? What is not so clear, or agreed, is the definition of the condition: “What is premature?” Is premature ejaculation defined by the time between penetration and ejaculation? Or should other criteria be used to define the condition? Some therapists use
“I just can’t perform” . . . “It didn’t work” . . . “It disappears as soon as I put a condom on” . . . “It just goes away” . . . “I dread meeting someone who might want to go to bed with me” . . . “It’s all I can think about” . . . These are thoughts that dominate the minds of millions of men who suffer from erection problems, or “erectile dysfunction.” Not so long ago, it was generally thought that a man’s sex life would terminate naturally after a certain age. If a patient
“I’m thirty five and I still haven’t lost my virginity. Don’t tell me that I haven’t met the right woman or that it’ll happen for me one day, because I’ve given up hope. The problem is that I’m really shy, not much use with women and I never pull. At least I’ve accepted the fact. The thing is I really want to get laid … I’m so depressed about it. It feels like I’m on the wrong side of a huge mountain and all the women in the world are on the other side.” You will never meet an “adult
You probably don’t need me to remind you how many intimate relationships break up, either in the first few years or even after twenty or thirty years of apparent “marital bliss”. Most people are aware, that what begins as a romantic dream all too often ends as a nightmare. There isn’t enough time or space here to list all the reasons for intimate relationship breakdowns, and in any case, it would make you depressed to read them . . . and for me to write about them, I think I might give up the will to live! Okay—if you insist—here
Sometimes referred to as clairsentience, the psyche can experience tangible feelings, often ignored or misused, but vital within relationships if the depth of feeling between partners is to include a connection at the level of the mind. When a couple have made this “mind connection” they never again need ask each other the dreaded question “how was that for you?” Each will know the state of mind of the other during intimate lovemaking. It is sometimes believed in therapeutic and spiritual schools of thought that the mind gets in the way of feelings; this is only partially true. Distracting and
There are still further levels of feeling that we may call “soul feelings”. A human being can feel many things that are beyond the normal range of the senses. For example, there are feelings that can be evoked by words, relational situations, art, poetry and music. To access soul feelings, one must be open to life at a level of awareness that is not instinctive or part of everyday consciousness. Some people may be happier using the term “sub-conscious” feelings, but I would suggest that “soul” feeling is more accurate. The feelings experienced when one goes beyond the ordinary state
Sensation Probably the most easily described is that range of feelings which should really be referred to as “sensations”. When you stub your toe against a table leg, the pain you feel is a “sensation”. When you feel a feather, that experience you are having is a “sensation”. When you caress your lover you are enjoying the “sensation”; just as you are enjoying the “sensation” when you are being touched by a lover, or indeed by a friend, parent or stranger. The handshake from a stranger is a sensation just as is the peck on the cheek from a family
Premature ejaculation is when a man consistently ejaculates involuntarily. Ejaculation should be the result of a conscious decision. There is no ‘normal’ time sexual intercourse should take but the normal expectation should be that on most occasions, a man ejaculates when he chooses to do so. This should, of course, be at a time when his partner is ready for him to ejaculate. In order to teach men ejaculatory control, traditional sexual therapy routinely emphasises the practice of external techniques such as the "Squeeze Technique", made famous by Masters and Johnson in the 1960's. While this and other rather outdated
Electricity and magnetism are amazing universal forces that sustain not only this planet but the entire solar system. This combination of electromagnetic forces is evident all around us and available to us every moment of our life. One only has to think of the everyday tasks that we perform in the home, office or factory to realise how much we depend upon electricity and magnetism. Yet neither of these great forces originates in the instrument that organises them. In other words, electricity does not originate in the electrical plug, the light switch or the television set and magnetism does not