First Stage of Sexual Development: Innocence

It would be naive and inaccurate to say that the human being is asexual when he or she is born as a baby. Of course, that is what we like to think as we look at the little innocent laying in the cradle, yet sexual development starts immediately. The newly born begins to sense the essential distinctions of the feminine and masculine energies of parents, brothers, sisters and other relatives and friends.

Through the senses of touch, hearing, taste, smell, and sight, the baby experiences the pleasurable–and not so pleasurable–aspects of these other life energies. Discovering life energies through the senses is the basis of all subsequent sensuality.

In order to progress beyond the Stage of Sexual Innocence, to a more conscious stage of development, requires direct experience of the further Stages of Sex. First, we all have to leave the ‘Garden of Eden’ and go out into the scary world of relationships.  Some people repress their sexual feelings and avoid sex, even adolescent experimentation or masturbation.

When stuck in the Innocence Stage of Sex, one of the most common symptoms is that the male partner being unable to access his masculine energy. Such men sexually function, albeit unknowingly, in feminine energy and consequently are passive and uninteresting as lovers. If stuck at this stage of development, the female partner may be all too aware of her dominant, masculine energy, unable to reveal her feminine beauty and gentle strength. Such people find themselves either unable to establish intimate relationships at all, or where they do, they live in conflict with the perceived expectations of their gender roles. This leads either to boredom or dominance in one partner, and subservience or deceit in the other.

Babies conceived within relationships stuck at the Stage of Innocent Sex will tend to be emotionally unstable or overprotected. They become fearful of authority, manipulative or easily manipulated. They will tend to be energetically neutral with resultant social or sexual dullness.


Second Stage of Sex: Instinctual

The main indicator of the stage of ‘Instinctual Sex’ is a lack of self-control. ‘Instinctual’ describes actions arising out of instinct, where there is very little consciousness involved. It is nocturnal, semi or sub conscious. Instincts involve a complex psychic organisation connecting the nervous system to the physical senses, creating machine-like reactions. The sex lives of animals are instinctive, and although human beings are a more highly evolved species, when they react instinctively they share life at the same level as animals


Such people go through life driven by five physical senses, forceful urges that seem to have power over them. They appear to make choices – although most of them turn out to be bad ones – while in reality they seldom make conscious decisions, being ruled by their instincts. Instinctual sex is reactive to need or demand. In men, instinctual sex is typified in erotic and ‘wet’ dreams, involuntary spontaneous erections and obsessive masturbation. In women, it is seen in the need to attract and seduce. She is compulsively attached to her appearance and usually self-destructs in the process, typically in her relationship with food.

Intimate relationships built upon instinctual sex will either implode or become abusive or violent. Babies conceived through instinctive sexual intercourse will often become heavy, compulsive smokers, drinkers or dependent upon other substances. In their sexual relationships they will tend to be either extremely selfish or people-pleasers, creating pressure and tension both within themselves and their partner.