The reason that intimacy has become associated with anxiety or fear is because the word intimacy has become associated with sex as a physical act.  People think that being intimate is something you do.  They say that “he was being intimate with her” when they really mean that a couple were having sexual intercourse or “foreplay”. Intimacy isn’t something you do; it’s not an activity.  Intimacy is a state of being; not doing.  Intimacy is a level of consciousness that requires self-awareness as distinct from thinking or doing.  Intimacy is awareness.  Intimacy is being conscious of feelings that are happening