There are natural laws in this world that apply to everyone without exception. The law of gravity is one example. It doesn’t matter who drops an object from the edge of a table, or throws it into the air, the object will fall to the ground: gravity will ensure that it lands somewhere solid. You may be rich or poor, man or woman, old or young—it doesn’t matter who you are or where you live—gravity will work the same in your life as for any other person. In the same way, there are also universal laws that work irrespective of culture, social class, background or location. Universal law demands that intimacy underwrites sex. Conscious intimacy provides a safe foundation for sexual relationships and safeguards the vulnerabilities of the partners—it is the ultimate protection from rape or abuse.

“How was it for you?” is the voice of sexual insecurity and the mouthpiece of uncertainty. It is the classic question posed by someone who is uncertain whether they have created a safe foundation upon which to have a sexual relationship. If you know how to consciously create safety through intimacy, you will never again need to ask that question: you will know how it was for your partner. Every sexual encounter that happens anywhere—anytime, involving anybody—must have a foundation of intimacy before sexual energy can be experienced safely and satisfactorily.