To open up the ‘Gateway’ to sexuality without anxiety – which is within everyone without exception – to make the shift from “Outside-In” sex to an intimacy based “Inside-Out” experience of infinite possibilities, requires some changes to be made.
These changes start in the mind. The old saying that “sex is in the mind” is nowhere truer than at this starting point. Unfortunately, as with most old sayings it has been misinterpreted to suggest that sex becomes sexier if the mind is active with sexual fantasy. This is sadly not true. In fact, most fantasies are being entertained by the minds of men and women who are deeply insecure about their natural ability to become sexually aroused without such mind games. Fantasies, while having their useful function when shared mutually within a sexual relationship, are usually nothing more than illusions, or delusions, screened within a distracted, busy brain. The result of this misconception of sex being “in the mind” is that two bodies may be in the same bed together, while their minds are on separate planets! Tragically, even some respected sex therapists and certainly many medical doctors, will recommend fantasy and pornography as the prescribed treatment for couples suffering from a problematic sex life.
The shifts in the mind that really do open new doors within, bringing new possibilities and potentials, rather than further strengthening the already overworked imagination through pornographic modelling of unrealistic sex are:
- From “Outside-In” to “Inside-Out”;
- From “Doing” to “Being”
- From “Technique” to “Trust”
Sexuality can be found at the root cause of much human suffering, and sexuality can be found at the core of much human joy and happiness. The shifts outlined above are a real and tangible journey that can be taken by anyone regardless of background, culture or current circumstances: who is cognitive and fully willing to change their sexual experience.