When sex goes wrong, men and women usually seek help to discover how to ‘do’ sex better. The first thing that they discover is that they have been ‘doing it wrong’ from the start. They need to let go of their deeply held need to prove their ‘Outside-In’ approach to sex and to discover the power of the ‘Inside-Out’ sexual model. To reach the heights of true sexuality a couple do not need to go faster or harder, but slower and deeper. ‘Inside-Out Sex’, merging the balanced energies of masculine and feminine leads beyond previous horizons and restores the body and mind to a naturally co-operative and responsive organism.
For most men, and many women who’s energy has been suppressed or even repressed by either ‘outside-In’ or ‘Simple’ sex, it is alien to speak of letting go of previously held views of how to be sexual when their very identity has depended upon it. It is an offence to their intellect to suggest that they have ‘got it wrong’ all these years. It is scary to learn anew something that is so basic to the very substance of one’s fundamental understanding and identification with sexuality. It is hard to learn how to be open and to discover the strength to be found in vulnerability; to get in touch with feelings. It is a concept pushing the boundaries of credibility for some to consider practicing trust and remaining present. For single men or women, a special helper may be needed with whom to take this exciting yet scary journey; a Sexual Surrogate Partner who will go with the single client every step of the way.
The ICASA Sexual Recovery Programme is a step-by-step journey through ‘Inside-Out’ sexuality starting with intimate connection with a partner and travelling through the full range of intimate, sensual and sexual experience. Every step is a learning curve and a potential healing experience. Every step also has a stated and agreed boundary on the level of intimacy being explored at that step. A client moves on to the next step of the programme when they are ready to do so. Everybody is an individual. It is a process of unlearning and re-learning; of self-discovery and self-awareness. The man or woman will experience a stress-free, no demand and non-judgemental environment of open-ness and trust based around an intimate relationship of commitment and unconditional love. In short, it is like restoring Paradise.