The old saying that “sex is in the mind” is nowhere truer than at this starting point. It is said: “for the man whose mind is mastered it is his greatest friend, but for he whose mind is not mastered it remains his greatest enemy”. The rational, analytical intellect, although it may be one of man’s greatest strengths in work or professional life, is the greatest weakness in intimacy and in sexual relationships. Einstein described insanity: “doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results.” To open up the ‘Gateway’ to sexuality without anxiety, individuals and couples are required to make some changes. I call these changes ‘shifts’.  These shifts must begin in the mind.

People everywhere are slaves to their thoughts, acting in obedience to them without even considering the validity of their current thought or question where it has come from. They assume them to be real, true and factual. The assumption is that whatever thought crosses their mind must be the thing to do. The trouble is that many contradictory thoughts pass through our brains. It is as though every person has dozens of separate persons inside their brains.

The brain is like a computer containing more memory than the greatest and most powerful ‘super- computer’ on earth. The intellect is like the computer’s operating system, programmed by language written by other people’s input. This vast programme of thought has been input from external sources and experiences over the course of an entire lifetime. They are echoes of other people’s thoughts! “Don’t do this – it will hurt”… “Don’t do that – it’s not right”… “You can’t do that”… “You’ll never succeed”… “Put that down – you know how clumsy you are”. When left in charge to be the source of thinking, the intellect replays past situations and recalls information from previous external sources. “I bet I won’t get an erection” or “She doesn’t really want to be with me” is part of this data stored in the intellect. It appears to be so real when recalled by a sudden situation or trigger. Negative thoughts can come crashing into awareness at any time like uninvited guests who don’t bother to call before turning up at your house, overstay their welcome and won’t go home.